Who are the couples that are imprisoned in the trap of marriage.
About 200,000 beaten women in Israel That they are about 800,000 women, men, and abject children, that imprisoned in the trap of marriage.It's possible to add the number of women that are beaten to the number of men, and the number of children. Every couple have 2 children in average, that exposed to violence. Together we will get 200,000 families that they are :
800,000 women, men, And children.
In these families women that are beaten and abject men the children of the couples are abject too. No family member can get away from this crisis.
We need to point out that this statistic of 200,000 beaten women that is already a statistic of many years. Very vague why so many years the stat did not succeed to overcome this crisis.
This big wide group of miserable couples belong to all the sectors of the population, and to all the congregation in Israel.
This group of the abject couples includes :
A. Couples that have physical violence, and very serious threat on the lives of women, and their children.
B. Couples with mental violence, verbally violence , or behavioral violence for example :
shouting at each other, humiliation, long continuous silences, that is a daily routine life in the family.
The poll that the psychologist VARDA RAZIEL made on radio program of the statistics of the happy and the unhappy married couplesIn the poll that the psychologist made on the radio program in the date 05/21/00.
The listeners were asked if their duality in the family are happy, or unhappy, the listeners answered on the radio program and these are the results of the poll :
About 45 % percent of the married couples were unhappy with their marriage.
About 54 % percent of the married couples were happy with their marriage.
What is the calculation of 78 % percent of the couples that failed with their marriageIn an attempt to understand the depth of the crisis in marriage we need to add datum of the couples that are divorced in Israel that stands nowadays on 33 % percent.
If enclose the unhappy couples which is 45 % to the divorced couples which is 33 % we will get 78 % of the couples that failed with their marriage.
What are the conclusions of the poll that the psychologist VARDA RAZIEL editedA. What about the 33 % percent that are divorced which the psychologist VARDA RAZIEL did not edited.
In addition to a big part of the poll which is 45 % percent from the couples that can not divorce and become stuck abject and miserable couples.
Therefore if we enclose the two of the groups we receive about 78 % percent from the couples that have a very bad life.
B. In a simple calculation of the happy couples we get only 22 % percent that are happily married.
C. This datum is also not exact in full, 22 % percent of the happy couples we have to included also the minorities that the phenomenon of divorce is very rare at them like :
orthodox Jews, Armenian, Bedouins, Druss tribes, and Moslem Arabs.
In an attempt to arrive correct results we should minimize from the 22 % these publics that at the phenomenon of divorce and the suffering is far away from them. Since the question of this societies are more traditional and religious.
D. An other thing there are many married couples that they live in separate houses, or in the different cities, or even in different continents.
Since that these couples never officially divorced, they appear as married in the statistics of the Interior Ministry and in the religious court of :
(Christian, Moslem, Jews and other) and so they also appear in the statistic of the marriage.
These married couples do not allow us to know exactly how many married couples live together.
Therefore we should minimize them from the group of the married couples.
E. Here is the first time that we are going to make the connection between the statistic of the divorced couples and the statistic of the abject couples.
Only by this connection of the two statistics we can present the real failure that in the modern duality of this couples and the biggest epidemic in our society which is called divorce.
F. The situation of the statistic of divorce is even worse , in the west European countries the divorce rate is above 50 % percent, and in the Scandinavian countries the divorce rate is 60 % percent and even more.
In the United States and Canada the statistics of divorce stand on 50 % percent.
In these countries the situation of the abject couples are less traumatic because it is easier for many couples to get a divorce.
Conclusion :The total sum of the statistics that fail in their marriage or their duality is very similar in all the western countries and stands around the 80 % percent and it is getting worse.
What about marriage as regards to the futureAs i described before from the 22 % of the successful marriage couples we do not consider :
1. The separated couples that are registered as married couples.
2. The minorities that they are not modern groups and they have their own marriage laws
(orthodox Jews, Armenian, Bedouins, Druss tribes, and Arabs) that their divorce rate is rare.
A modern young man or modern young woman that they ask the question what are their chances to succeed in marriage, the answer will be that their chances to succeed will be less than 10 % percent.
And the percents of the failure in the modern marriage stand on more than 90 % percent.
As regards to future marriages the situation only worsens, and therefore the answer definitely is clear, unless basic changes in all fields of duality will provide some answers. Up till than marriage is hopeless and have no chance.
couples in the previous generations are unlike to the couples of our generationEvery body understand that the phenomenon of the divorce is the most rare at the couples of the previous generation.
Clear that the couple that live together about 50 years can serve us only for an example and a model for a happy marriage.
The difficulties and the problems appears at the young couples. We are going to discuss only the problems of the young couples between the age 20 - 50.
Therefore the study and statistics is not deliberate to the old couples. Here we discuss and present the new generation of the couples that are together, from the period of one year to 20 years.
All the three of the groups are active every dayEvery day will be added new couples that they will marry.
Therefore every day will join couples that already were married to one of the circuits that follow :
A. To the group of the happy couples which is less
then 10 %.
B. To the group of the abject couples, that there is not in their ability to divorce which is 45%.
C. To the group of the couples there is in their ability to divorce, and exits from the group of the abject couples which is 33% and passes to the group of the divorce.
The group of the abject couples is the biggest groupIn spite of their size this group did not get the exposure that is worthy her. There was an impression in the public that all couples which are in crises and distresses that usually they have a solution with passed in time, or with the help of professionals like :
lawyers, psychologists, rabbis, priests, or marriage couples
Thing that proved as wrong that misleads the public and in particular you, the young couples that should get a decisions on the basis of wrong information.
The truth is that part of these couples will remain stuck for the rest of their lives and spend time and money for many years at :
All kind of advisers of duality, marriage counselors, lawyers, psychologist, rabbis and friends of the family.
These couples will not get a divorce and will continue with their sick marriage in the attempt to rehabilitate their destroyed life.
To act and pretend in order to cover their miserable lifeThere are men and women that they learned to live an abject life with feud and quarrels at home.
In the morning their are putting the "mask" on their face, and exit to work with a smile of happiness and great vigor.
They learned to function properly in two worlds .
At the moment that they return home they pass quickly to visualize the second image, like that actor in the theatre exchanges a costume before he goes on stage to play an additional image.
There are mates that raise their conditions and impossible demands to divorcePart of the mates are simple blackmailers, and part of them simple do not want to divorce, and invest efforts, and money, and much energy, in an attempt not divorce.
Model to the demand that is not Possible :
A. They require all the assets and the financing of the other mate , they demand to receive all the house and, its contents of the familial business, the company, or shares of the company.
B. They will not agree to divorce if they knew that to MAN / Woman has an a fair with some body who is interested to get marry right after the divorce. And they have persuasive
explanation like :
" You broke our marriage , you stole husband, or my Woman at the time i was married to you, therefore I will not let you marry again."
There is an immemorial sentence that say :
" after you murder you also inherited. "
C. They require from the Woman that you will pledge not to marry again, or not to let any MAN in to the house as long as his children are at home. Only when the children grow up and leave the house she will be able to find a new mate.
D. Big part of the couples appear strong desire to avenge at the spouse, therefore they will present demands that they will not be able to brake their marriage and he/she will say,
sentences like this :
I will suck your blood out of your life or I will avenge for all the suffering, the anguish, the pain, and the shames that you caused in the past.
There are men that say to the Woman explicitly, that she will never have another MAN. Only death will apart them and she will be able to be separated.
If we make a survey in an attempt to explore the abject couplesStill does not take place a poll, or a comprehensive study that give answers and provide a datum and a real right index on the extent of the problem . If we make a study like this, there is no doubt that one of the questions of the abject couples focuses on days like holidays, in vacation and weekends.
And spend time together on free days . The following questions are asked.
A. In the statistic of the abject couple we will examine, which quality of life the mates will have , if they still interesting one in each other, do they still enjoy each other company.
B. In the statistic of the abject couple we will examine, after the couple spending time together several days together burdens of angers from the past, do they know to settle angers, and to feud or to argue, without to hurt one each other, these in an attempt to settle and to solve their problems, or that these days are wasted on controversies and infinite quarrels.
C. At the abject couple the urgency to divorce is very high and the question is :
in the what frequency appear that one of the mates wants to separate and find a new spouse in order not waste the rest of his/her life in a sick situation and a dead end marriage.